Forget about it! We have to wait. Not a good time. Hold your horses! Forget about it! Better not! Not gonna happen! Oh, come on! What they will tell about me!? I’m not sure we should risk.

How many times you hesitated because it’s ‘better not’? Have you ever resigned to take part in some super interesting activity just because of your fears? Do you think that not engaging in social, new and unusual situations might be wrapping yourself and your loved ones in cotton wool? Is this a healthy behavior and a healthy family spirit?

Of course NOT!

But I will be the last one to judge you and point my finger on you! I perfectly know how does it feel and what is it like to be stuck with both feet in a puddle full of mud. Better – a quicksand! A looping avalanche. A skyrocketing list of a ‘NO’ check-ins and there is also bitter remorse. You feel bad and your sense of guilt is in fact only worsening the already difficult situation.

What is the best to start with?

1. Traveling – loads of parents are asking: should we go on vacation, is it ok to take a plane trip, maybe it’s better to just take a short car trip and avoid any embarrassing crashes and meltdowns at the train station… It’s hard to plan something, especially if it’s a new destination, the location you’ve never been before so you just don’t know what to expect at the arrival. And the trip. If it’s the first one with a certain kind of transportation vehicle, you might need a visual or practical preparation. Search for some videos on YouTube, go for a visit to a nearby airport or take your child to see trains. If you have some theme museums you should definitely drop by. Think also about how to ease any inconvenient issue like a sensory disorder (noise-canceling headphones etc.) or just a habitue (take a beloved stuffed animal etc)
2. Play dating – and again, it’s hard for both, you and your kid. It’s usually common that kids on the spectrum do not read play rules patterns etc. Do not blame yourself about it. It’s completely fine to play in a proper and unique way! At least if it’s not a team game. The rest will come later. This kids’ meetings where they can play and explore how does the first basic life’s rules work is beyond price. So don’t skip this part just because your child might not engage right away or seems to be not interested. Even non-verbal children often, if helped a bit with an empowering move, enjoy and learn a lot!
3. Pushing boundaries – after all, this is the worst part as we become quite rigid facing the fact of dealing with the autism spectrum. Some of the limits are ‘default’. Up and running because of the obvious limits you meet during your autism voyage. Some we set up because we are in ‘escape’ mode. Some are fixed by stereotypes and we just assume it’s like this and nothing can possibly change it. Well, it’s about you popping out of your comfort zone. For this aspect…(go to point 4.)
4. Being spontaneous and creative – oh my, living without a schedule?! What the heck! I like to plan and organize and schedule. Yaaas I do! But it’s good for everyone to step out of a rigid, daily framework.
5. Sleeping and taking care of yourself – not necessary to say that our mental health is a major priority in all this journey. You have to be fit and feel good to be able to provide the best support for your child. Staying in a good physical and mental condition saves you from going in a stress loop. Whole and healthy nutrition, some sports and a good sleep is crucial.
6. Not giving a fig about what people say – well, in this point no comment is needed. Just proceed!

There is something that is absolutely important and priceless about bonds between parents and their children. The most important is that you are the best thing that could have ever happened to your kid. You commit entirely to be the first to provide the proper help, engage, support and love most than anybody else. You are the one who knows your children in a unique way that leads to providing the best assistance they might need. You set the boundaries and you are the first natural role model. Your family priorities, patterns, and goals are well known by you and you have the power to be the leader in pursuing happiness, balance and well being of your children.