The year is 2021. Springtime. The pandemic is in full swing. We are in the eternal rush and now also in fear. We isolate ourselves to survive. We are looking for new solutions to old problems, but also to those from the ‘new reality’ that appear like mushrooms overnight and mutate like a virus. New reality. New rules. New bans. New habits. Change is chasing change. And here, not all, but a large part of society stumble and fall flat. She is not ready for a change. He can’t work her through. He displaces it and opts for fear of losing his identity. 

It’s quite human. However, so few of us, finding ourselves in a difficult psychological situation, seek help from a specialist. It does not even cross the mind of many to seek advice. And it should be natural to turn to a therapist, a professionally prepared person and willing to provide support when we get stuck, keep sinking, we feel bad about ourselves, or suddenly everything loses sense and we have no idea which way to go because the visibility is poor in dense fog.

It may seem strange to some and not very consistent with our modern times, but the shame of telling friends, colleagues, relatives, even loved ones that you are treated by a psychologist is still very widespread.

And it does not matter the level of education, a more or less open mentality, ethnicity, financial situation, profession, gender, or shoe number. Man or woman, adult or teenager, banker, lawyer, baker or merchant – it makes no difference. Taboo subject, better not to inform anyone about non-corporeal, not visible, hidden deep down in our minds and souls problems – “because people would not understand.”

But what would they not understand? Where do these fears arise? Or is it rather a shame? Shame about being exposed and judged. Being rated as weak, crazy, unreliable, fragile, unpredictable.

Shame is a very difficult feeling and can have a decisive influence on our mental life. It is no coincidence that it is central to many disorders such as anxiety, depression, and many more.

Maybe you are already motivated enough, you realize that you need help, you have already figured out who you could go to for advice. Psychologists or psychotherapists – they may be the “right” ones, but you hesitate. Something holds you back, something that touches the depths of your conscience, something that makes your stomach feel tight at the thought of talking to a stranger about your personal affairs. Fear, shame, fear of judgment – more or less intense – of revealing yourself to a stranger, even if he is a mental health professional.

In the face of the fear of opening up – more or less irrational, those of us who want to start therapy need to find a power – an antidote – perhaps a temporary one that will give us the strength to overcome the impasse in which we find ourselves.

And most importantly, all the fears I mentioned above should not be included in the set of rational reasons for fear and resignation from using the services of a specialist.

A psychologist or psychotherapist is a professional trained in an art that focuses on working with people. During the training, through studies, supervision, and above all through his own experience path, he learns how to eliminate potential aspects that may interfere with therapeutic work by improving his own personality and behavior in order to help the patient relax, inspire confidence and facilitate his opening up to himself and in front of the therapist. 

Importantly, the therapist does not instruct and judge. Maybe it’s better to be more strict – not judging negatively, not condemning. He sees and assesses the patient’s difficulties, but knows that they are always the result of a person’s history, life experiences. In other words, it recognizes that the person in difficulty is always doing whatever they can with the tools they have. When the therapist identifies mistakes, problems, they do it to help the patient grow and feel good, not to blame, judge, or punish him.

And finally, what probably most often worries us – the fear of violating patient’s privacy. Psychologists are ethically bound to protect your privacy regardless of what information you choose to share. He may not disclose the information obtained during the session, unless the patient expressly permits it or if there is a potentially serious threat to the life or mental and physical health of the patient or third parties or with a court order.

I think these three points, these three rational arguments, precisely because they are rational, can help us tame our shame and fear that keeps us from going to a specialist. Even if they probably will not be able to completely eliminate the fear of opening up to the figure of a psychologist or psychotherapist, it is worth trying to overcome our demons and cultural stereotypes.

Our health – physical and emotional, is exposed today to an extraordinary test and due to the fact that the situation in which we live today does not predict immediate changes to the well-known ‘normality’, we are forced, more than ever, to monitor the state of mental health of ourselves and our loved ones.